


you said you'd grow old with me // malum

by 5SOS_Shipper



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 19:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5SOS_Shipper/pseuds/5SOS_Shipper
Summary: "Thought we had the time, had a life, now you'll never get older, older" Michael sang, basically screaming out the lyrics. Tears rushed down his face at the thought of the sweet brown eyes he fell in love with. "Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time, getting colder, colder!" He strummed the strings of his acoustic guitar fiercely and with anger. "One last word. One last moment... to ask you why... you left me here behind." Michael let out a sob between lyrics."You said you'd grow old with me."----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Based off of the song by Michael Shulte





	1. Chapter 1

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS ELEMENTS OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, ETC.  
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"Who am I, who am I, when I don't myself," Calum sang out to the massive crowd of fans. They were everywhere he looked and they were singing his song. "Who am I, who am I? Invisible." He smiled when he heard the fans booming, almost deafening, voices singing back at him.   
Michael looked at his boyfriend's smile of pride, fondly, from backstage and silently reminded himself about how lucky he was to have such an amazing person in his life. He was living his dream alongside the love of his life, Calum, and his two best friends, Ashton and Luke. They had been on their first headline tour, Rock Out With Your Socks Out, for two months now. It was their last night of the tour for three weeks, considering they were in Perth, Australia to visit their families. Their families were going to fly down from Sydney to spend the next couple of weeks with the band in a beach house.   
"Stop gawking," Luke teased, standing next to Michael. "You'll embarrass him." Michael flipped his blonde hair out of his eyes and sent Luke a glare.   
"Thank you, Perth!" Calum said, interrupting the insult Michael was going to send to Luke. "We love you always!" The three other boys ran out to Calum on the stage, taking each other's hands and bowing. Cheers surrounded them, as did flowers, bras, and candy. They ran off the stage together, laughing with their adrenaline to the roof. They entered their room backstage and collapsed on the floor right away. Calum fell next to Michael, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. Calum was wearing one of Michael's black sweaters and kept tugging at the sleeves of it.   
"Amazing job tonight, my love," Michael told him, smiling from ear to ear. His boyfriend's brown eyes were shining with happiness as he looked at Michael.   
"Alright, you two," Ashton spoke with disgust. "We get it. You wanna fuck." Both Michael and Calum's faces turned bright red. Luke let out an exaggerated gasp.   
"Ashton Fletcher Irwin!" Luke yelled. "I can't believe you just swore!"   
"Oopsies," Ashton feigned guilt. "It's not like I'm 21 or anything." He stood up from the floor and walked to get some punch from the refrigerator.   
"Says the 21-year-old drinking punch," Michael retorted, standing up. He grabbed Calum's hand and lifted him up. Luke laughed, following them.   
"Should we head back for the night?" Calum asked Michael, silently.   
"I didn't tell you?" Michael replied to Calum, remembering having a conversation about where he was going tonight. "I'm going to Troye's party tonight."  
"Oh, yes," Calum said. He sent Michael a forced smile and took his hand, following the other two boys outside.   
"Cal?" Michael stopped Calum from moving ahead. His green eyes met Calum's forever beautiful ones. "Are you okay, baby?"  
"Yeah, of course," Calum answered, high pitched. Michael sent him an "I know you're lying" glare and Calum frowned. "I'm just stressed. That's all, babe."   
"You can talk to me," Michael told his boyfriend, touching his face, lightly. Calum pulled away, too quickly for Michael's liking.  
"I know," he sent Michael another forced smile, this time walking forward by himself.   
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By the time Michael got to Troye's party, there was already a huge crowd of people. Troye was in the corner with his boyfriend, Jacob, and they were whispering as the loud music echoed over them. Michael walked over and tapped Troye's shoulder.  
"Oh hey, Mikey!" Troye hugged Michael and Jacob followed after.   
"Great party!" Michael smiled and Troye nodded in return. Michael's mind went straight to how better the party would be if he had his boyfriend with him. For the next couple hours, Michael only drank a little and stayed by the walls of the party. He definitely was being a wallflower, but that was because he didn't know anybody but Troye and Jacob. He was bored. After sitting down for ten minutes, Michael decided it was time to go even though it was only midnight. He said his goodbyes to the couple and stepped outside to the cool, winter air. Michael tugged his jacket closer to him as he reached in his pant pocket to grab his phone. His eyes widened at the 15 missed calls from Ashton and Luke. They were from an hour ago. He went to Ashton's number and called him back.   
"Michael, what the hell?!" Ashton yelled through the phone after one ring. His voice sounded terrified.   
"What?" Michael answered, panicking. "What's wrong?"   
Ashton let out a sob and handed the phone to Luke, saying, "I can't."  
"Mikey?" Luke's voice was pained but soft.  
"Yeah?" Michael's nerves shot up at the way Luke said his name.   
"You need to come back to the house right now," Luke started.  
"O-okay?" Michael was nervous, as he rushed to his car. "What's going on, Luke?"   
"Just come back," Luke replied, hanging up. Michael found himself driving as fast as he ever did before. He didn't know what was happening, but he didn't hear Calum's voice at all in that phone call. What if he was hurt? Michael sped into the driveway of the beach house and got out, instantly. He rushed inside to find his two best friends sitting on the couch in the living room. Ashton's normally bright hazel eyes were replaced with dull, red-rimmed ones. His head was resting on the arm of the loveseat and his face was full of shock. Luke's blue eyes were also red-rimmed and looking straight at Michael. Michael saw something was missing. His boyfriend.  
"Where's Calum?" Michael spoke, looking between the two tear-faced men. They both gave him a sullen look. Michael's mind was rushing with thoughts. Calum was wearing one of Michael's black sweaters and kept tugging at the sleeves of it. Michael reached out to touch Calum's face, but he pulled away, quickly. "I'm just stressed. That's all, babe." Michael's hand began to cover his mouth in shock. Tears began to fall down his face. "Where is he, Luke?" Luke started to cry, silently, at Michael's reaction. "Where the hell is he?!"  
"He shot himself, Michael," Ashton said, standing up and going to Michael. Michael fell down to the floor, so slowly, on his knees. He held his chest and sobbed. This wasn't real. It wasn't happening to him.  
"No!" Michael yelled when Ashton tried to hold him. "Where the hell were you?!" Michael stood up with angry tears falling down his face. He looked at both Luke and Ashton with hatred. "What the fuck were you two doing?!"  
"Luke was asleep," Ashton replied, calmly, with tears falling down his face. "I was getting ready for bed when I heard a bang." Michael stared at Ashton, bitterly. "I ran to the room, Michael. He was just lying there. Blood was everywhere. I called the police and then you. By the time they got here, he was dead." Michael was shaking with anger and sadness.   
"Where is he?" Michael tried calming himself down. He was broken in every way.   
"The morgue," Luke finally spoke. "He'll be there until we have a funeral." Michael felt light-headed and sat on one of the chairs. Ashton tried to approach him, but Michael shook his head.  
"You need to stay away from me," Michael said, harshly. "Leave me alone." Ashton nodded, grabbed Luke's hand, and left the room. Michael cried throughout the whole night with one word rushing through his mind. Why?


	2. Chapter 2

Ashton woke with a jolt and sweat dripping down his forehead. He had had a nightmare, which was just the memory of Calum dying repeating in his head. Tears were falling from his hazel eyes as the loud bang of a gun echoed in his memory.   
Ashton was getting popcorn ready for his solo movie night. Both Calum and Luke were tired, so they headed to bed right away. Ashton was going to watch P.S. I Love You because he was a single, lonely soul who desired to be loved. Once he got his popcorn ready, he sat down on the couch and played his movie. The first thirty minutes of the movie were normal. He sat there and enjoyed Gerard Butler's beautiful face. Ashton was gay and he was in the closet, scared to be the third gay member of 5 Seconds of Summer. He hid it well from his bandmates. When Ashton reached to finish the last of his popcorn, a loud, deafening bang interrupted him. Ashton jolted up and realized it was coming from Calum and Michael's room. He set his bowl of popcorn down and ran as fast as he could to their room.   
He knocked gently at first. "Cal?" There was no answer coming behind the door. "Calum?" Ashton spoke a little louder and knocked harder. There was still no answer. "Cal, it's Ashton. Are you okay?" Ashton tried the doorknob. It was locked. He ran to the kitchen of the beach house and went to the key drawer. He grabbed the spare key to the bedroom and ran back. Ashton had never been as anxious as he was now. He struggled to put the key in and twist it, but when he tried a third time, the lock clicked, opening the door.  
"Calum?" Ashton opened the door and froze when he saw Calum laying bloody on the floor with a pistol right next to him. "Oh my god." Calum's brown eyes were open and dull. They weren't the bright, happy eyes Ashton knew. "Luke!!! Help!" He screamed, finally processing that his friend was either dead or dying. His eyes filled with tears as he knelt down, cradling Calum's head up. He didn't care about the blood filling his hands. "Luke!" he sobbed and he looked down at his beautiful best friend. Calum was too happy to do this. Why did he do this? Ashton heard footsteps rushing towards the room. "Call 911!"   
Luke ran into the room with tired blue eyes, but they filled with shock when he saw the image before him. "Oh my god, Calum!" He went to kneel down by the two, but Ashton stopped him.  
"Call 911! Now, Luke," Ashton demanded, fear in his voice. Luke nodded in shock and ran out the room to get his phone from his bedroom. Ashton couldn't believe this was really happening. What was he going to tell Michael? He could already see the hurt in the blonde boy's eyes.   
Ashton cradled his knees to his chest as he remembered his best friend's brown hair full of blood. He was never going to get that image out of his mind. He checked his phone and smiled at his lockscreen picture. It was a picture him and Calum took two months ago. Ashton was making a funny face, while Calum smiled his signature smile with a thumbs up. They truly were inseparable best friends.   
"Okay, but Ash, I'm ugly," Calum told Ashton after he requested a selfie. Ashton glared at Calum.   
"I am literally wearing a biking helmet right now," Ashton responded. Luke and Michael were out to get ice cream and Ashton and Calum stayed back at the house they were renting. They were in Ireland for their tour at the moment. Ashton found the helmet earlier in the day and had been wearing it ever since.  
"Take it off then," Calum rolled his eyes.   
"I will make an ugly face if it makes you feel better," Ashton returned the eye roll. "But you already know that you're gorgeous."  
"Fiiiine," Calum groaned. He positioned himself next to Ashton and smiled, putting a thumbs up. Ashton made a face and snapped the picture. He smirked because he had yet another selfie to add to his "#cashton" collection.   
"That's number 485 for Cashton selfies," Ashton laughed, putting his arm around Calum.  
"Oi," Michael's voice cut in.  "Hands off my boyfriend! He's mine!" Michael ran over to Ashton, pushing him, playfully. He wrapped his arms around Calum and nuzzled into his neck. "My Calum." Calum let out a little chuckle, wrapping his arms around Michael.   
Ashton remembered the instant happiness that Calum had whenever Michael was around. Ashton stretched his arms out and got out of bed. He wiped away the excess tears from his face and walked out to the living room, quietly. The first thing he noticed was that it was completely dark. No lights were on and he saw a dark figure sitting on the floor, staring forward.   
"Michael?" Ashton called out. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" Ashton shivered at the cold night air coming through the windows. "And why are the windows open? It's freezing." He went to close the window, but Michael interrupted him.  
"Please don't," Michael said. "It's so Cal can come back." Ashton's heart dropped at these words. He went to sit next to Michael.   
"It's three in the morning, Mikey," Ashton said, sitting down. He was trying to diverge from the topic. "Have you slept?"  
"What did I do wrong for him to hate me so much?" Michael ignored Ashton's question with his own.   
"He doesn't hate-"  
"He wouldn't do this if he didn't hate me," Michael interrupted, sobbing after. "I had to tell David and Joy. I had to tell them that their son did this awful thing because he's a selfish asshole." Ashton flinched at Michael's anger. "Our families are all flying down tonight. They'll be here at noon and now they're coming here for a funeral. Because he's a stupid bastard who couldn't even talk about how he was truly feeling!" Ashton was holding back tears because he was extremely angry at Calum as well. He hated him for what he did, but that was his best friend. He could never hate him for that long.   
"Here, Mikey," Ashton said, standing up and putting his hands out for Michael to take. 

"Please don't call me that," Michael replied, taking Ashton's hands and standing up. Mikey was the nickname Calum initially gave Michael in high school. It has stuck with the boys ever since.   
"Come on," Ashton leads him to the couch, setting up a pillow for him. "You need to sleep."  
"I-"  
"Now, Michael," Ashton demanded, pointing to the couch. Michael sighed and laid down. Ashton grabbed a blanket for him, covering him up.   
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him," Michael whispered. Ashton sat down on the floor next to Michael.  
"Me neither," Ashton said, truthfully. Ashton sat in silence for thirty minutes until Michael was fully asleep. He felt relief that he finally got the younger boy to sleep.   
"That was sweet of you," Luke spoke from the doorway, making Ashton jump.   
"How long have you been standing there?" Ashton whispered, making sure not to wake Michael.   
"I just got here," Luke answered, walking towards Ashton. "I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. I called Harper and cried." Ashton frowned at Luke's bluntness. Harper was Luke's girlfriend of two years. "She told me that I'll be fine, but she doesn't know how this feels. We lost our fucking best friend and she just says, "You'll be fine, Luke."" Ashton now knew that Luke had been drinking. He wouldn't be saying any of this stuff without alcohol in his system. Ashton yawned, running his hand through his hair. He was exhausted. "You should sleep, Ash. I'll sit with Mikey."   
"That was Cal's nickname for me," Michael's voice chimed in. Ashton let out a sigh of disappointment when Michael woke up. "I'm really angry, guys." Luke walked over and sat next to Ashton. Ashton could instantly smell the alcohol on him. "We had a future planned. We were going to grow old together. He told me that."   
Then, Michael said four words that broke all the boys down.  
"He's never coming back." 


End file.
